Why God Never Received Tenure at A University

  1. Because he only had one major publication.
  2. Furthermore, his one major publication:
            - was in Hebrew
            - had no references
            - was not published in a refereed journal
            - and some even doubt he wrote it himself
  3. It may true that he created the world, but what has he done since?
  4. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
  5. The scientific community has had a very rough time trying to replicate his results.
  6. He has never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.
  7. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
  8. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he often punished them, or just deleted them from the sample.
  9. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
10. He had his son teach the class.
11. He expelled his first two students for learning.
12. Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his test.
13. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on mountain top.