"YOU MIGHT BE A GRADUATE STUDENT IF ..."
... you can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate.

... your office is better decorated than you apartment.

... you are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.
 
... you have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.

... everything reminds you of something in your discipline.
 
... you have ever discussed academic matters while at a sporting event.

... you have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while researching a single paper.

... there is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider "yours."

... you actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.

... you can tell the time of day by the traffic flow at the library.
  
... you look forward to the summers because you are more productive without the distraction of classes.

... you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.
 
... you consider all papers to be works in progress.
 
... you find the bibliographies of books more interesting than the actual text.

... you have given up on trying to keep your books organized and are now just trying to keep them all in the same general area.

... you have accepted guilt as an accepted feature of relaxation.

... you find yourself explaining to children that you are in the 20th grade.
 
... you start referring to stories like "Snow White et al."

... you look forward to some time off to do laundry.

... you have more photocopy cards than credit cards.

... you wonder of APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as "personal communication."

RETURN