by P.S. Ruckman, Jr. PSRuckman@aol.com



I am going to campaign on the issues. I will only answer the questions for which I have carefully prepared answers.
The real issue of this campaign is ...  The only thing I want to talk about is ...
The American people want ...    If the American people were as brilliant as I am, then they would want ...
My position on this issue is clear. I have a different answer to this question for every group I address.  Who asked the question ?
My opponent is distorting my record. How did they get that information ?
My opponent's accusations are ludicrous. I wish I had thought of them first myself.
My opponent is negative campaigning. Damn, those &%$#&%$#@s are good !
I completely deny the allegations. No one can prove anything, yet.
I encourage the investigation. Sure, the charges are serious, and it really looks like I've been caught red-handed, but no one can prove anything, yet.
I have already addressed the allegations ... I was hoping if I avoided answering these questions you would stop asking me questions.
I have made a few mistakes. I've still got a fifty-fifty chance of getting away with it.
I will address these allegations at the appropriate time. I'm in some deep do-do.
I did not commit these errors knowingly or with the intention of hurting anyone. I honestly thought I wouldn't get caught.
I'm sure the voters will understand that these past mistakes have nothing to do with this election. I'll do it again.
I trust the American people to make the right  decision If I have fooled them all this long I assume I can fool them in the booth.
I have a clear mandate from the people. I won by the narrowest of margins.
I am aware of the awful responsibility that now faces me. I'll be more careful about getting caught than I was in the past.
I am going to vote my conscience.   I cannot defend my choice and will not be reasoned with on this matter.
We are not going to be able to solve these problems overnight. All promises are off.